Ah, so difficult....

Have a break! Drink some teh tarik or kopi tarik. Cheers!

A friend of mine told me about an article that she read in the local newspapers a while ago. I found it very intriguing, so I am going to share it with you in this post.

According to the article, there are three types of difficult people.


SITUATIONALLY DIFFICULT PEOPLE

Such people are not difficult people by nature. It could be that something happened that day and they are under tremendous stress at that point in time, hence they react to their stress by behaving in a difficult manner. Often, when these people are given a listening and sympathetic ear, they calm down and their disposition improves. With such people, patience is required. Getting upset at them when they are difficult will not solve the problem and may even blow up the matter unnecessarily.


STRATEGICALLY DIFFICULT PEOPLE

These people deliberately make things difficult for other people when so doing would give them an advantage in a situation. In the working environment, we often encounter colleagues who are like this. They are often scheming and know where the wind sways. They will not think twice of saying one thing in front of you and another thing behind your back. When they need your help, they will be very saccharine sweet to you. However, when you need their help or when it puts them at an advantage to make things difficult for you, they will show their true colours. You often wonder why these people would want to make lives so difficult for everyone. However, the bottom line is that there is nothing you can do to change such people. All you can hope is that one day, their eyes will be opened and they will change on their own (or you can hope for retribution to occur but some victims will tell you that they have waited for more than ten years and still do not see the retribution). Until then, continue to pray for patience to ignore their behaviour and pray for protection from their scheming.


INHERENTLY DIFFICULT PEOPLE

This refers to the type of people who are, well, difficult all the time. They usually have a chip on their shoulder and they always feel that everyone is against them, so they react and protect themselves by being irrational and difficult. Again, one can often find such people in one's workplace. They are not team players. They are uncooperative and always want to have the last word. They often do not do their fair share of work and whenever they can, they will push their work to other people. If you happen to be instructed to cover them (while they are on leave) for a project that they are working on, you can be sure that when they come back from their leave, the project somehow ends up as your project permanently because they refuse to take back the project, claiming that you have taken over the project. You are left scratching your head, wondering when "cover your duties" became "take over your duties".

The interesting part of the article is that for inherently difficult people, the article advises that the way to deal with these people is to stand firm with them or find their weak point. I find this very intriguing. I feel that when it comes to inherently difficult people, standing firm with them will serve no purpose. We will always lose. They always want to have the last word. The amazing thing is that they are so difficult that often, the bosses give in to them (for the sake of peace and harmony) and you wonder how can this be. It is so unfair. With them, work is always a "one-way street", that is, from them to you. There is no reciprocity in their behaviour.


What are your thoughts on the above 3 categories of difficult people?

How do you think each category of persons should be dealt with?

Do leave your comments.