pet peeves

Just a bit of raving and ranting from me at this time of the morning.... here are some of my pet peeves:-

(1) New converts who over-do the call to evangelise - Please do not quote Bible verses and preach to others as though your denomination is the one and only correct denomination. Just because someone has decided to move onto another church does not mean that such a person is the prodigal son and this does not give you the right to go all out to throw Bible verses at that person so freely (yes, I know it is easy to download the versus from the internet but please show some consideration towards others). Even in our Constitution, we are given the freedom of religion. So, please do the rest of us a favour and respect the fact that we may have chosen to move on.

(2) Strangers who take it upon themselves to discipline our children in public - It is not their place to do so. In fact, relatives also do not have such a right unless it is granted by the parents of the child.

(3) Others who undermind our authority with our children - Again, it is not their place to do so. Also, it can cause the child to see their parent's word as not final. Such harm to the parent-child relationship is unnecessary and uncalled for.

(4) People who give little respect to those in the service industry - For many of us in the service industry, we encounter clients/customers who do not value the work that we do for them. We do not ask for nor expect a big pat on the back or a lunch treat but at the very least, please do not squeeze our costs/billing to such a ridiculously low amount that you insult the work we do.

I am sure that many of you would have more to add to this list. I would love to receive feedback from you on what are your pet peeves.

Help!

You know that you are in trouble when you start to have shouting matches with the little one, trying to persuade her to finish her meal, poo-poo, nap, sleep, shower, get ready for childcare, etc.

I have come to the realisation that I am going through what many others have gone through - the Terrible Twos.

Goodness me! I thought that by use of reasoning and adult speech, I could get through. But things do not always go the way you want it. Little ones do not always respond in a textbook manner.

So what did I do? Sigh... I started reading a textbook!

This is the first set of tips that I came across in the book (mind you, I am still at Chapter One, I think...). These tips were on the topic of helping children to deal with their feelings.

The underlying concept is that children need to have their feelings accepted and respected. As such, here are the quick reminders for all of us:-

(1) You can listen quietly and attentively.

(2) You can acknowledge their feelings with a word (eg. "Oh.", "mmm", "I see...")

(3) You can give the feeling a name (eg. "That sounds frustrating!")

(4) You can give the child his wishes in fantasy (eg. "I wish I could make the banana ripe for you right now!") - this tip is so relevant to me. Princess always wants to eat the banana NOW. She can tell you that the banana is still green (Da commented recently that she can recognise colours, so she is not colour-blind. Phew!) and that bananas can only be eaten when they turn yellow. But when it comes to satisfying her want for the banana, all reasoning gets thrown out of the window and she wants to eat the banana NOW.

Another tip from that chapter? All feelings can be accepted. Certain actions must be limited. For example, "I can see how angry you are at your brother. Tell him what you want with words, not fists."

I have been trying out the tips for the past 2 days and I have failed miserably.

Oh well... as GP says, it is all about trial and error. Tomorrow brings forth continued effort on my part. Wish me luck!

The wife of noble character

Mdm Kwa Geok Choo, the wife of our Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew, passed away at the age of 89 on 2 October 2010.

From the various interviews with people published in the newspapers, what came shining through clearly was a woman who put her husband at the centre of her life.

Not only did she have a successful career, she also took care of their three children and made sure that she was a pillar of support for her husband.

This is a lesson to us all in how we should lead our lives.

Mrs Lee was truly a wife of noble character as described in Proverbs 31.

Proverbs 31:10-31 (New International Version)

"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."

Rest in peace, Mrs Lee.

Ah, so difficult....

Have a break! Drink some teh tarik or kopi tarik. Cheers!

A friend of mine told me about an article that she read in the local newspapers a while ago. I found it very intriguing, so I am going to share it with you in this post.

According to the article, there are three types of difficult people.


SITUATIONALLY DIFFICULT PEOPLE

Such people are not difficult people by nature. It could be that something happened that day and they are under tremendous stress at that point in time, hence they react to their stress by behaving in a difficult manner. Often, when these people are given a listening and sympathetic ear, they calm down and their disposition improves. With such people, patience is required. Getting upset at them when they are difficult will not solve the problem and may even blow up the matter unnecessarily.


STRATEGICALLY DIFFICULT PEOPLE

These people deliberately make things difficult for other people when so doing would give them an advantage in a situation. In the working environment, we often encounter colleagues who are like this. They are often scheming and know where the wind sways. They will not think twice of saying one thing in front of you and another thing behind your back. When they need your help, they will be very saccharine sweet to you. However, when you need their help or when it puts them at an advantage to make things difficult for you, they will show their true colours. You often wonder why these people would want to make lives so difficult for everyone. However, the bottom line is that there is nothing you can do to change such people. All you can hope is that one day, their eyes will be opened and they will change on their own (or you can hope for retribution to occur but some victims will tell you that they have waited for more than ten years and still do not see the retribution). Until then, continue to pray for patience to ignore their behaviour and pray for protection from their scheming.


INHERENTLY DIFFICULT PEOPLE

This refers to the type of people who are, well, difficult all the time. They usually have a chip on their shoulder and they always feel that everyone is against them, so they react and protect themselves by being irrational and difficult. Again, one can often find such people in one's workplace. They are not team players. They are uncooperative and always want to have the last word. They often do not do their fair share of work and whenever they can, they will push their work to other people. If you happen to be instructed to cover them (while they are on leave) for a project that they are working on, you can be sure that when they come back from their leave, the project somehow ends up as your project permanently because they refuse to take back the project, claiming that you have taken over the project. You are left scratching your head, wondering when "cover your duties" became "take over your duties".

The interesting part of the article is that for inherently difficult people, the article advises that the way to deal with these people is to stand firm with them or find their weak point. I find this very intriguing. I feel that when it comes to inherently difficult people, standing firm with them will serve no purpose. We will always lose. They always want to have the last word. The amazing thing is that they are so difficult that often, the bosses give in to them (for the sake of peace and harmony) and you wonder how can this be. It is so unfair. With them, work is always a "one-way street", that is, from them to you. There is no reciprocity in their behaviour.


What are your thoughts on the above 3 categories of difficult people?

How do you think each category of persons should be dealt with?

Do leave your comments.

Honesty

We all have pride. Sometimes, we do things that we are reluctant to let our relatives, friends or even consultants (eg. agents, accountants, etc) know.

However, it is sometimes counter-productive to hide information from others, especially pertinent information that may potentially jeopardise a transaction. Had the matter blown out of proportion, not only are we in danger of ending up with a law suit, unnecessary misunderstandings or unhappiness may result between relatives or friends.

Whilst we all want to present a perfect front to the rest of the world, sometimes there is necessity to swallow one's pride and speak the truth of what has transpired.

We need to remember that for some matters, there is some team work involved and what we do or not do may affect the entire transaction and there may be repercussions for others.

We engage consultants for certain transactions because we need their expertise and/or assistance in certain matters. By hiding information from them, they may not be able to have the complete picture. Who will then take responsibility when something goes wrong?

At the end of the day, we are responsible for our own actions.

We need to remember that we are not an oasis.

bread, bread, bread!

There comes a point in one's life where one realises that at the end of the day, a lot of things really do not matter. What really matters are one's family and loved ones.

We face a lot of stress in our daily lives - in our work place, fretting over our children, wondering how to make ends meet, praying for health for those around us, etc. In the midst of all our trials and tribulations, let us remember that the Lord is the constant one in our lives who will never change. When we hit a wall, do not simply think, "What would Jesus do in a situation like this?". Instead, turn to Jesus, look to Him and trust that He will guide you in what to do and what to say. Is this easier said than done? It is. However, we are all on a steep learning curve and if we never start, we will never get there.

Gosh... why am I in such a reflective mood on a friday night? Every now and then, I look at what is happening around me and I am so thankful for what I have in my life. The Lord is so good to me and He always restores double (and more!) to me for what the devil has taken away from me. Thank You, Jesus for showing me favour and grace.

And now, on a more mundane note, Da and I had a simple breakfast this morning. We baked some vienna sausages in the oven and ate the sausages with a sweet loaf that I had baked. I do need to get round to baking sausage buns. Eating sausages sandwiched between slices of bread is simply not as enjoyable as eating sausages in sausage buns.

After breakfast, Da and I drove to my mother's home and parked our car by the side of the house. As we alighted from the car, I happened to look into my mother's garden and I was pleasantly surprised to see that the starfruit tree is bearing fruit again. There are also lovely purplish pink flowers on the tree.

One thing that I realise about fridays is that everything seems to happen at one go. It is as though people realise that the weekend is coming and hence, they rush to settle matters so that it is not dragged over the weekend. As such, fridays tend to be busy days for me at work and I had a late lunch at about 2.30 pm today. In case you are wondering, I ate a sandwich for lunch as well. Goodness me... bread for breakfast and now bread for lunch.

After work, Da and I met up and we took a bus to my mother's home. As always, Boy-Boy was very happy to see us. I only found out for the first time last night (from my mother) that Boy-Boy behaves differently in front of each of us. For example, he is especially playful in the presence of Da and me because he knows that he can get us to play with him. I must have a burst of second childhood because I often find myself playing "running around the mulberry bush (or, in this case, the sofa!)" with Boy-Boy.

My mother busied herself preparing dinner. Oh my goodness! Bread again!

Each of us had a tuna sandwich with wholemeal bread. Da and my mother ate the chilli tuna whereas I ate the tuna with mayonnaise.

My mother also fried an egg each for Da's and my sandwiches.

As there were leftovers from the ABC soup that my mother cooked last night, each of us had a bowl of ABC soup as well.

My mother's kitchen will be closed tomorrow as she will be at work. Not to worry - Da and I have a birthday party to attend tomorrow. It is a barbeque party to celebrate the birthday of Da's niece, MAT. Happy birthday, girl! We look forward to seeing you tomorrow.

Shaloam,

Music for the soul

What kind of music do you listen to? I have often found solace in music. I am not only referring to gospel music. If you were to switch on the radio after midnight to FM 90.5, you will know what kind of music I am referring to. I believe that after midnight, there is no disc jockey (commonly known as "DJ" for short) on duty and what is being broadcast are pre-recorded songs. But, oh, what beautiful songs! It is simply relaxing to listen to them.

It can be very therapeutic listening to music. In fact, music therapy is now an established health service similar to occupational therapy and physical therapy. The use of music aids is believed to aid in pain relief, anxiety and stress reduction and positive changes in both mood and emotional state. Have you ever found yourself calming down as you listen to relaxing and soothing music?

Music has a profound effect on your body and psyche. In fact, increasingly, music is used in health care to heal. Music seems to help cancer patients, children with attention deficit problems and others. Even hospitals are beginning to use music and music therapy to help with pain management, to help ward off depression, to promote movement, to calm patients, to ease muscle tension, and for many other benefits that music and music therapy can bring. Music affects the body and mind in many powerful ways. A home that is full of music and laughter is a happy household.

How many times have you listened to your radio, MP3 player or ipod and caught yourself singing along or tapping your feet to the beat of the music? Music uplifts our soul and brings us peace. Singing worship music (regardless of the religion) can bring us to a deeper level of intimacy with and love for the one that we worship.

Studies show that music affects portions of the brain. Part of music therapy is the ability of music to affect emotions and social interactions. This is why some of us can cry when listening to moving music and in particular, songs of worship. I have more than once caught myself with tears streaming down my face uncontrollably as I sing songs of praise to our Lord Jesus Christ in church, especially songs that worship how beautiful our Saviour is and how much He loves us.

Music may be used for artistic, aesthetic, communicative, entertainment or ceremonial purposes. The definition of what constitutes music varies according to culture and social context. In certain tribes, music instruments are even crudely made from wood or everyday household items, but they make the most beautiful music.

It is also believed that music can bring bring many other benefits, such as lowering blood pressure (which can also reduce the risk of stroke and other health problems over time), boost immunity, ease muscle tension and more. We are often encouraged to have "me" time when we switch off the lights in a room and listen to soothing and uplifting music.

Other than therapeutic uses, music is often used in the movie industry. Can you imagine an epic movie like "Lord of the Rings" without music in the background? Much of the effect would be lost!

Interestingly enough, I remember reading in the newspapers a few years ago that at the Kranji Columbaria, classical music is played all day!

My brothers and I grew up listening to oldies, country & western music and classical music. I remember that when my youngest brother was in school, his teacher was surprised that he knew the lyrics to an oldie.

If music be the food of love, play on!

Shaloam,

Just smile

I watched the repeat telecast of the memorial for the late Michael Jackson on television a few days ago. I could not help by tear as many people stepped forward and gave beautiful eulogies. I was very touched when Brooke Shields spoke about the King of Pop's favourite song, that is, "Smile". "Smile" was the theme music for Charlie Chaplin last silent picture "Modern Times" in the 1930s. I recall listening to Nat King Cole's recording of the song. It is such a beautiful song. Michael Jackson's brother (Jermaine Jackson) sang a beautiful rendition of "Smile" at the memorial.

When things bog us down, we often wonder why these things are happening to us. One thing, though, is very clear. Road-blocks are never put in our way by God. Any road-blocks (in the form of people or circumstances) are placed there by the evil one, to prevent us from getting close to the Lord. Many a time have I found myself in situations where something or someone makes it difficult for me to go to church on sundays. The devil knows that he cannot confront us directly. He works through people and circumstances.

An acquaintance told me today that we need to reflect. When we find ourselves chasing our tail and we do not get to do the things that we feel a desire to do (eg. we have a desire to serve in the choir in church but our work schedule is such that it would be very difficult to make it for every choir practice and/or we have to attend meetings on sundays), he feels that we should go ahead and carry out what we desire. As we go along, we may find that paths somehow smoothen and we are able to succeed in what the Lord has placed a desire in our hearts.

Lord, I cast all my cares unto You. I know that You loved me so much that You died for me at the Cross and You took upon yourself all my challenges. When I turn towards You, You will always carry me on Your shoulders. I know that many things are beyond my control and there are many more things that I would like to change. However, no matter what happens, I know that You will do all things for my good. I trust in You and I know that You will see me to victory.

By the way, if you are wondering why there are photographs of food in this post, well, I thought that I might as well "kill two birds with one stone" and do a bit more "pointing and shooting" with my digital camera. These photographs were taken today using my Panasonic Lumix.

I left the office late today and made a quick dash to the NTUC Supermarket to buy some groceries before it closed. When I left the supermarket, I found it difficult to hail a taxi home because I did not see any taxi pass by for some time. As it was almost 10 pm, I decided to adjourn to the nearby Marine Parade hawker centre for dinner. I walked up and down the aisles of stalls and I simply could not find anything that I wanted to eat. It just goes to show how exhausted I was - everything did not look appetising. Another clear sign that I was exhausted was when my order of yong tauhu was served with rice vermicelli (bee hoon) and thick yellow noodles. I never order thick yellow noodles because I do not like them and I only eat them when they are served as mee rebus. I looked at my order and I was dismayed. This is the second time that this has happened in the same week. The same thing happened to me the other day when I ordered yong tauhu from a stall at the Kallang Airport hawker centre. At that time, I thought that the stallholder mixed up my order but I did not want to kick a fuss. Today, I realised that there was no mix-up in the order all along - I must have simply ordered without thinking straight.

Da had taken the day off today to accompany FIL to attend to some matters relating to FIL's car, namely:-

(a) service FIL's car;

(b) pay the car insurance;

(c) pay the road tax; and

(d) send FIL's car for the mandatory vehicle inspection.

As I was not able to leave the office earlier, Da was in the midst of his dinner with FIL and MIL when I contacted him after I left NTUC Supermarket. I therefore proceeded to my mother's home after my dinner to chat with my mother while waiting for Da to pick me up.

When Da arrived, he gave me a slice of chocolate fudge cake that he had bought from the coffee shop where he had dinner. It was absolutely divine! I have to look for the recipe for this cake..... *grin*

I had bought some bread buns from the confectionery at Marine Parade after dinner today. As it was late, the bread buns were sold at S$1 per bun. The pork floss bun is one of Boy-Boy's favourite and he enjoyed eating the bread bun.

No matter what happens in our lives, keep your chin up. There will be tears and laughter but at the end of the day, we "keep walking" and trust the Lord to guide us down the correct path. This is the only way forward.

"Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by

If you smile
through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow

You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near

That's the time
You must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying

You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile"

(lyrics from "Smile")

Rest in peace, Michael Jackson. May you moonwalk on streets of gold in heaven always.

A new beginning

I placed quite a bit of thought before I decided to create another blog specially for recipes. I have been getting some feedback that my existing blog (Jesus loves Pebbles) can be a little confusing because there are so many different subject matters in one blog.

I have therefore created a recipe blog. This blog is still in construction stage insofar as the template of the blog is concerned. As such, do bear with me while I find my spatula (oops, I meant find my feet).

As the days go by, I will transfer the recipes from my existing blog to this recipe blog. However, I do anticipate that it would take some time as there are quite a number of recipes in my existing blog. Furthermore, I have deleted from my computer some of the photographs that were attached to the recipe posts in my existing blog. Although I do not intend to place undue pressure on myself to complete the recipe migration (life is already stressful enough, is it not?), I believe that with the Lord's guidance, the task will be completed soon. After all, if God is to get the glory, He will do all the work. All I need to do is to rest in Him.

In the meantime and to give you some nuggets of what to expect in the recipes blog, do enjoy the following slideshow of home-made goodies by me:-

Talk less, eat less, worry less

There is a generation gap between the "old fogies" and the "third generation".

People of the "older generation" tend to be more reticent. Their thinking is that "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". As such, there is a lot of attempt at keeping the peace for the sake of harmony. This type of mindset sometimes results in the person keeping things to himself. As such, misunderstandings occasionally occur because assumptions are made and there are no clarifications sought.

People of the "third generation" tend to be more open with their feelings. As such, it is not uncommon to hear phrases such as "love ya", "you're the best" and "awesome" peppered in conversations. When something bugs them, they speak out and clear the air. As such, this avoids misunderstanding. However, as we are Asians, sometimes being forthright has its drawbacks. Depending on who you are speaking to, the other party may not take too kindly to what we are saying. We may be perceived as interfering, disrespectful and picking on them.

How then, do we draw the balance?

My mother's eldest sister's latest mantra is "talk less and eat less". There is a third "less" to her mantra but I cannot recall what it is. My mother's youngest sister, AN, has teased Tuayi that the 3rd aspect is "wear less" (because Tuayi happened to be wearing a sexy top the other day). (By the way, Tuayi, you are getting more and more youthful as the days go by! Think young and you will remain young.)

For me, I would add "worry less". Sometimes, things are not as bad as they seem. Have faith in the One above.

Tuayi's mantra has roots in a buddhist or taoist teaching. I believe that the underlying concept is that we should learn to let live and let go.

If we say one less word in a conversation that is getting a bit heated, we can diffuse the difficult situation and perhaps avoid coming to blows to the other party.

If we worry less, we can live our lives with freedom. Do you know that many a time, that headache that you were suffering from had roots in something that had been worrying you for days prior to that?

If we speculate less about the intentions of the other party, we would save ourselves a lot of unnecessary stress. We need to remember that even if the other party has an axe to grind with us, at the end of the day, we cannot change the other party. If we let go and do not worry ourselves over this, perhaps nothing will come out of the actions of the other party.

I agree with my cousin HL that it is often easier said than done. However, we try. It is not for us to change other people. We let go and in time to come, we may even find ourselves changing for the better.

So, to my wonderful family and relatives, YOU'RE THE BEST! YOU'RE AWESOME! LOVE YA LOTS!

The simple things in life

Life is not always a smooth path. Sometimes, we encounter trials and tribulations along the way. However, let us be of good cheer for Jesus has overcome it for us. Let us enjoy the simple things in life.

It takes humility to submit to one who is lesser qualified than us or one who has lower IQ than us but who may be of a position of seniority as compared to us in an organisation. However, before we start to grouse, let us remember that our Lord Jesus knelt down and washed our feet. Jesus, who is the Son of God, did not find it beneath Him to do such a simple act. Who are we to act superior to someone else just because we happen to have a higher IQ than the other person? Let us look to Jesus and learn from Him.

This morning, my brother (LG) gave my mother, Da and me a lift to Raffles Link. My mother wanted to attend to some banking matters at a bank located at Raffles Place. As such, the three of us decided to eat our breakfast at Qi Ji. The food was delicious, as always. As for the drinks, I have to say that I like the coffee sold at Qi Ji and Hans Cafe & Cake House.

Late last night, I baked a banana cake in a bundt pan and I brought the entire cake to the office today. My secretary kindly cut the cake into many slices and passed the cake around. When she offered the cake to me, the first thing I said to her was, "Wait! I want to take a photograph of the cake!" She grinned and dutifully placed the bowl of sliced cake on the table for me to take a photograph of it. Hi GP, the photograph of the cake that I told you about is below. Enjoy!

It was a quiet day at work today. The highlight of the work day was a meeting that I attended in the late afternoon. Somehow the topic of discussion got diverted along the way and the parties started discussing the current economic situation. Remarks were passed about how the karaokes seem to be doing a booming business at the moment. Perhaps this industry is "recession-proof". One of the parties at the meeting works in a company that is the landlord of a property whose tenant is operating a karaoke business at the property. The others at the meeting started teasing this gentleman about "happy hour" and requested him to let the rest of us have a guided tour of the karaoke.

After work, Da and I went to the Kallang Airport hawker centre with my mother for dinner. My mother ordered a sliced fish soup with "emperor noodles". Da ordered a vegetarian char kway teow (hi Hamtaro, this is the vegetarian stall that you told me about). I ordered yong tau hu but requested for curry gravy. The verdict? Da's dish was the winner of the night. My mother said that the standard of the sliced fish soup had dropped since the last time she ate it. As for me, I found the curry gravy too spicy and the rice vermicelli (bee hoon) were overcooked.

My mother remembered that there used to be a drink stall in the last row at the hawker centre whose hot tea she likes. We managed to locate the stall. Gosh... their menu has expanded. I would recommend their home-made hot lemon tea.

When we left the hawker centre, we located our car and belted up. As we were about to drive off, I suddenly noticed two pairs of eyes peeking out of the car that was parked next to our cars. Goodness me! There were two little schnauzers in the car! The windows of the car were not wound all the way to the top and hence, there was some ventilation for the dogs.

Unable to resist the temptation, my mother and I started making "go-go-ga-ga" talk to the dogs and they responded. One of the dogs stood up and started whining, trying to poke his head out of the window (which he could not as the gap between the window and the frame of the door was quite narrow).

I think that we "chatted" with the dogs for at least 15 minutes! I hope that passersby (who may not have noticed the dogs) did not think that I was a mad girl, poking my head out of my car door, waving to the car next to ours and talking to the car! *grin*

BD was on medical leave today. Get well soon, BD!

Guardian angels watch over us

We all undergo trials and tribulations in life.

Some people are persecuted for their faith and beliefs. Often, when we are impacted by the Word (whether it be from the Bible, buddhist teachings, etc), the evil one comes to try and take away what is in our heart, in an attempt to turn us away.

Some people are persecuted by other people. Often, this persecution persists for years, the reason for which baffles our understanding. Why do these people behave in such unwarranted behaviour towards other people? Sometimes, it is a simple case of insecurity. At other times, it is a case of jealousy. More often than not, we scratch our heads in puzzlement and wonder what we ever did to step on their toes. We try to "let live and let go" because we know that no matter what we say or do, we can never change the other person. However, have you ever encountered the situation where despite your letting go, the persecution nevertheless continues?

A good friend recently shared with me her thoughts on this matter. She said that some people believe that making other people's lives difficult elevates them to a higher status. They are the most pitiful people because they do not have real friends in their environment. She does not think that they can sleep peacefully and so, they always age faster and look unpleasant too. Her advice is that we keep our faith and do what we believe is right. At the same time, we learn to give others some breathing space. We can sleep well because we always have guardian angels watching over us.

Another good pal of mine feels that these people are insecure and attention seeking. She said, "Pray for the Lord to zip their mouth and shut your ears.".

In the past, I had endless queries of "Why? Why? How can it be fair that the perpetrator can continue to behave in such matter to the victim?". Subsequently, I learned that we should "let go" because no matter what we do, we can never change such people. However, I have discovered that sometimes, letting go does not mean that the problem will go away. In fact, often, because we no longer fight back, the wrongdoer gets even bolder and the persecution worsens. I have never viewed it from the perspective that such wrongdoers are pitiful and at the end of the day, they are people who have no peace in their lives. What we see with our physical eyes is that they always get away with doing wrong to others, time and again, and we do not see any "retribution" at the end of the tunnel. It takes strength to say, "I will not let his/her rude behaviour and snide remarks hurt me. He/she is a nobody. Only the One above truly matters. I forgive him/her and I pray for the salvation of his/her soul.". May we all be able to achieve this level of enlightenment one day.

Friendship

Who is a friend? Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more persons. The term "friend" connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem and affection along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other. Their tastes will usually (but need not necessarily) be similar (eg. Japanese food) and they may enjoy common activities (eg. singing at KTV sessions). They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice (eg. how to reduce under-eye bags) and the sharing of hardship (eg. staying back at work to help finalise a document).

A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors (eg. I help you to fix your PSP (ie. Playstation Portable) and you help me to buy rosebud leaves).

Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them.

Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:-

(a) the tendency to desire what is best for the other (eg. encouraging the other to upgrade himself/herself through further education);

(b) sympathy and empathy;

(c) honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart or when unpleasant information has come to the knowledge of one that relates to the other (comment: it is not easy to weigh whether to inform the other about unpleasant information concerning the other. On the one hand, we are loathe to upset the other party. On the other hand, it is imperative that the other party be aware about what has happened);

(d) mutual understanding.

Sometimes people are not what they seem. They may appear nice to you but behind your back, the knife that they use to stab you is longer than a fencing sword. It is disheartening to know that there are such people in this world. Why should we go about life being cynical and distrusting others?

At the end of the day, whilst it is good to be on our guard, sometimes we should just let go. If we are always watching our backs for hypocrites and people who cannot wait to trample us on the ground while calling themselves our "friend", our lives will be very unhappy as we can never see the beauty in the world around us.

The world is full of wonderful stories of how two people of different backgrounds can end up as friends, eg:-
(a) persons of different cast;
(b) persons of different skin colour;
(c) persons of different positions in a company;
(d) persons of different financial background;
(e) persons of different character.

It is not always that if, for example, two persons of different financial background are friends, one is necessarily simply making use of the other. Life is strange. You never know when the person whom you least expect to "click with" ends up being your friend.

(source: Wikipedia and my own two cents' worth)

Purpose driven life

Rick Warren is an American evangelical minister. He is also the author of several books, including "Purpose Driven Life". He is the founder and senior pastor of Saddleback Church in California, United States of America. He said the prayer during the inaugural ceremony of Barack Obama as President of United States of America.

In an interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:-

"People ask me, "What is the purpose of life?".

And I respond, "In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop and that will be the end of my body - but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practise on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness. This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.

I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems: If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centredness, which is "my problem, my issues, my pain." But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her - It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before.

I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72. First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases. Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call "The Peace Plan" to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, "God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better".

God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.

Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.

Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.

Painful moments, TRUST GOD.

Every moment, THANK GOD.""

My dear loved ones and friends, may the Lord bless you always.

Thank You, Abba Father, for loving me.

Happy baking!

Every now and then, I will share with my colleagues the cakes, muffins or cookies that I have baked. This practice started from the days when I was a trainee in the company. I used to spend my weekends baking and each monday, a box of baked goodies would appear in the pantry for my colleagues to enjoy.

As the years went by and my workload increased, I did not always have the time to do baking during the weekends. A few years ago, it reached the point where I hardly baked and our breadmaker went into early retirement.

In the past, Da and I would go out during weekends, either to watch a movie at the cinema or to do some window shopping. Nowadays, Da and I prefer to spend our free time relaxing at home or visiting relatives or friends. It is probably due to the fact that as our workload increases with our seniority in the workforce, we treasure our free time and we prefer to relax at home or in the home of a relative or friend.

As a result, I have managed to resume my hobby of baking. My breadmaker (a wedding gift from my mother in 1998) is no longer kept in the cabinet and is now always placed on the tabletop, ready to be called into action. In fact, the more often I use the breadmaker (which is still in good working order after all these years), the better the bread turns out.

Last night, I was reading the blogs of relatives and friends at home when I suddenly felt like doing some baking. It was 10.30 pm at that time but deciding to give in to the whim, I proceeded to the kitchen and started preparing the batter for mini yoghurt doughnuts. The preparation time was only about 5 minutes and the baking time per tray of doughnuts was only 7 minutes. As such, in less than half an hour, Da and I had piping hot trays of doughnuts on our dinner table. Unable to resist the temptation, we ate a few of the doughnuts. Yummy!

When the doughnuts had cooled down, I packed some of the doughnuts into a container for Da to bring to work today. I also packed a container to bring to work, which container I handed to my secretary this morning for her to distribute the doughnuts.

The next time that you suddenly feel like doing some baking at night, why not considering baking mini yoghurt doughnuts? They are easy to make and very delicious.

Happy baking!

American Idol craze

Yes, it is that time of the year again, when everyone logs out of their computer (at the end of a work day) as fast as they can and brave the after-office traffic in order to make it home in time to watch the performances and results show of the latest season of American Idol.

The latest season of American Idol is Season 8 and so far, I do not see a clear winner yet. However, I do admit that I have a soft spot for Scott MacIntyre. Scott, who is legally blind, has chosen to reject his disability and make full use of the gift that the Lord has given him - the gift of music. It seems that he was a child music prodigy and his family is musically inclined. It is easy for us to wallow in self-pity at our challenges and sink further and deeper into the murky waters. However, faith is the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things not seen. There is always hope and nothing is impossible for the Lord. The Lord has given each of us different gifts and it is up to us to choose to ignore the blessings or make use of the blessings.

For dinner, Da very thoughtfully bought popiah for the two of us from Lau Pat Sat festival market.

I made some bread pudding using my small slow cooker. (It looks a little dark because I used a mixture of chocolate bread and fruit & nut bread. I also added longan meat instead of raisins.)

Season 8 of American Idol started this week with the Top 13 showdown. This is the first time that 13 contestants made it to the showdown. In the past, only 12 contestants made it to the showdown. This year, the judges made an exception and allowed 1 more contestant at the wild card round. However, as Simon Cowell announced, the "bad news" is that 2 contestants will be going home at the results show for the Top 13 showdown.

For the Top 13 showdown, the contestants performed a selection from Michael Jackson’s songs. As I was listening to the contestants perform, I thought to myself that this was a difficult act to follow. No one performs like the King of Pop. There have been many cover versions made of Whacko Jacko's songs to date but the only one that I really like is "Billie Jean" by David Cook (the winner of last year's American Idol). He had a very interesting rendion of this song.

It will be interesting to see how this year's American Idol season unfolds. In the meantime, do not work late for the next few weeks! May the Lord bless you always.

Blessed to be a blessing

Recently, a friend asked me what is it about baking that I find so enjoyable. I replied that I derive a lot of joy from being able to share the cakes, etc made by me with my family and friends.

We are blessed to be a blessing to others.

There are many things in my life that I am thankful for. I do not deny the existence of trials and tribulations in my life (which everyone has) but I reject them in the name of Jesus. I know that God did not create the challenges nor is He using the challenges to "teach me lessons". When the devil throws lemons at me, God will turn the lemons into lemonade.

Do not be fooled into thinking that the devil cannot use people or situations to create trouble for us. He can do it and he will do it. He can use people around us (eg. colleagues, acquaintances, etc) to make life difficult for us. But be of good cheer because Jesus has overcome all this for us. For so long as we continue to worship the Lord and look to Him, it will not be long before we overcome our challenges.

The Bible does not say that arrows will not be directed at us by others. However, a thousand shall fall at our side and ten thousand at our right hand but it shall not come near us.

I have been blessed by our gracious God. He has granted me forgiveness and new life in His son, Jesus Christ.

Having been so blessed, we are called to be a blessing to others, shining forth His life in our lives.

I thank the Lord that I am able to share my love for baking with others.

(homemade goodies for our 3 handsome young neighbours:

vegetable bun, fruity chiffon cake, garlic spread

and mocca chocolate chip scones)

Jesus, make me a blessing in my work and play and in everything I do. Let Your blessing flow through me so that when others see me, they shall see You. Thank You for loving me. I worship You and I adore You. Your name is above all names in this world. You are worthy to be praised.

Thank You, Lord that my miracle has happened. I await the manifestation of the miracle for others to see how wonderful You have been to me. Amen.

Redemption

Recently, Tau Suan asked me to share with him on the topic of redemption. I looked at him for a moment as I debated what to tell him.

Tau Suan is twelve years old.

I equate redemption with our salvation and our Saviour. However, I was not sure whether Tau Suan meant redemption in that sense. In the end, I briefly told Tau Suan the various meanings of the word "redemption".

Hi Tau Suan, as discussed, here are the various contexts of the word "redemption".

FINANCIAL MEANING:
Redemption is the act of repayment of a debt owed at or before maturity of the loan. For example, if you borrow money from a bank and you mortgage your house to the bank, by making full repayment of the outstanding amount owing to the bank, you can redeem the mortgage.

SINGAPORE CONTEXT:
Singaporeans love coupons and vouchers. As such, sometimes you receive a coupon or voucher which can be used to exchange for something else. For example, if you purchase beyond a certain amount at a supermarket, you are given a voucher which can be used to redeem a free cooking pot.

CHRISTIAN MEANING:
In Christianity, redemption refers to the act of delivering from sin or saving from evil. When Jesus died on the Cross, He took upon Himself the sins of all the world so that by His death, we are forever healed and forever redeemed from our sins. Jesus paid the price for our sin. God punished His beloved Son (Jesus) on the Cross so that today, we can live as free people who are greatly blessed, highly favoured and deeply loved. Jesus came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for all of us.

Rest in peace, daddy

(photograph source: fathersday-cards.com)

Today is the 16th anniversary of the death of my daddy.

My brothers and I had a strict daddy but he had a heart of gold and only wanted the best for his family.

My daddy was a maestro in his field of work - the real estate industry. I remember that in the early 1980s, he single-handedly sold / leased out all the units in an industrial building on behalf of a client. The client was so happy with my daddy's service that my entire family was given a paid holiday to the United States of America in the summer of 1981. At that time, a buffet breakfast at Circus Circus hotel in Las Vegas cost only US$4.

I have the opportunity to meet my daddy's ex-colleagues and ex-business associates in my line of work. I am amazed that they still remember him and I enjoy listening to them recollecting incidents involving my daddy. One common thread in their stories is how good my daddy was in his line of work. Had he lived, I have no doubt that he would have been mentor to many younger colleagues. Recently, I learned that a client's wife was my daddy's ex-colleague and the client also knew my daddy! What a small world this is.

He was also an amazing carpenter. The living room and dining room in my parents' home is of split level. Resting on the bannister between both rooms is a wooden divider with elaborate and complicated design made by my daddy. If you were to look closely at the divider, you will notice that it is not held together by any nails. It is simply a work of art.

My daddy's life was cut short at the young age of 47 when he passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. The cause of death was congestive cardiomyopathy.

Thanks to my parents' influence, my brothers and I learned to appreciate music of different genre, such as oldies, country & western music, classical music, etc.

I am very blessed that till today, my family remains close-knit.

Daddy, I miss you very much. I know that you are walking on streets of gold in heaven and enjoying the peace that you so greatly deserve. May you remain the shadows of His Almighty always.

A lifetime of correspondence

A penpal is a person with whom one becomes acquainted through a friendly and regular correspondence. Traditionally, the mode of correspondence has been by way of letter-writing. In the modern age of technology, people have progressed to:-

(a) electronic mails

(b) chatting online - msn, facebook, google chat, etc

(c) text messages

A penpal relationship is often used to practice reading and writing in a foreign language, to improve literacy, to learn more about other countries and lifestyles and sometimes, to reduce loneliness.

As with any friendships in life, some people remain penpals for only a short time, while others continue to exchange letters and presents life-long. I currently have 5 penpals - I have been corresponding with 4 of them since I was in my early teens whereas the 5th penpal and I have been corresponding since I was in my late teens.

(a) HKH - she lives in Norway and is one of my oldest penpals. Her birthday falls on the same date as my brother although she is 2 years older than him, which makes it easy for me to remember her birthday! Her pug dog is cute and is often photographed with her. She makes truffles in huge batches during Christmas although I have yet to sample any. (Big hint, girl!)

(b) BLM - she lives in New South Wales, Australia. We too, have known each other since we were in our early teens. I was very happy to learn that she now not only has an electronic mail address, she is also on msn! Till today, my mother can remember the photograph of BLM (wearing a beautiful pink dress) that she sent to me years ago. We spoke on the telephone once many years ago. She has a lovely daughter. I enjoyed our chat on gmail chat the other day - let's do this again soon!

(c) SH - she is a Catholic and she lives in New Jersey, United States of America. She has a daughter and a son, both of whom are very adorable. Thank you, my friend, for being a listening ear all these years, putting up with my endless litany of grouses and for reading my blog. Are you still doing belly dancing?

(d) LG - she lives in California, United States of America. Being of mixed parentage, she looks very Chinese in some of her photographs. I have a friend (who studied in USA) who once told me that she is acquainted with LG's sister - I think that they were either classmates or schoolmates. How are you, girl? What is your electronic mail address?

(e) JMC - Although the "newest" of my 5 penpals, he and I have known each other for more than 15 years. He lives in South Carolina, United States of America with his wife, son and daughter. When will you be visiting Singapore with your family? Please say a big "hi" to your folks and give them a big hug from me! Please also let Paps know that I no longer collect comic books but I still watch WWE "Raw" / "Smack Down" on television. *grin*

Some penpals eventually arrange to meet face to face. I have to date met some of my penpals, either because they came to Singapore or I visited their countries. Da has even met two of my penpals a few years ago.

Some pen pals even get married. My parents (who were born and raised in different countries) were penpals for many years and their correspondence continued even when my daddy went to Australia to further his studies.

Penpals come in all ages, nationalities and cultures. For many years since I was in primary school, I corresponded with a girl of the same age as me and who was also living in Singapore but we never met. I remember that her handwriting in primary school was very unique - the characters were very squarish. As fate would have it, we ended up in the same orientation group in Junior College! To cut a very long story short, we now live near each other and her 3 beautiful children are Da's and my god-children. Life works in mysterious ways, doesn't it?

People may seek penpals based on their own age group, a specific occupation, hobby or select someone totally different from them to gain knowledge about the world around them. Although most of my penpals are around my age, for many years I corresponded with a penpal from Channel Islands, United Kingdom who was a grandfather - he battled glaucoma bravely for many years and passed away several years ago. Towards the end of his life, his children had to read his letters to him because he could not see the words.

Many people writing to a penpal do not use their native language in their letters. I once corresponded with a Russian girl who wrote her letters in Chinese. She was learning Chinese in school and was more than happy to practise what she learned. However, I must confess that her command of the Chinese language was far superior to mine and after some time, I found it difficult to continue with the correspondence due to language barrier.

A modern variation on the traditional penpal arrangement is to exchange electronic mail addresses as well as or instead of paper letters. This has the advantage of saving money and being more immediate, allowing many messages to be exchanged in a short period of time. The disadvantage is that I find this more impersonal than writing letters. Having said this, taking into account the fact that my handwriting is getting more and more atrocious as the years go by, I think that my family, relatives, friends and penpals would be more than happy to heave a sigh of relief that I have finally "gone online".

I recall that when I started having penpals, I subscribed to a penpal club based in Finland. For a certain amount of money (I cannot recall the amount - I think that it was about US$2 per penpal), I was entitled to 5 penpals from their data base. In addition, my name would be included in their data base and if anyone wanted a penpal from Singapore, my name would be given to them - in this way, I would get "free penpals". I also placed my name and address in the penpal column of a local television magazine (which was how I got to know my friend whose children are now my god-children, if I recall correctly). Some penpals were referred to me by other penpals by word of mouth. There was a time when I was corresponding with more than 20 penpals!

As Christmas approaches, I have just started on my Christmas shopping. Normally, I would first buy the presents for my penpals as I would need to post their presents to them and as such, I would need a headstart on the purchase of their presents.

When Da and I were in Chinatown recently, we came across a gift shop selling lovely souvenirs. I decided to buy some for my penpals.

I have wrapped up the presents and I will be posting them to my penpals soon. Have a blessed and merry Christmas, my dear penpals, and I hope that we will be able to meet (finally!) / meet again soon.

Sources
(1) Wikipedia
(2) thefreedictionary.com