Talk less, eat less, worry less

There is a generation gap between the "old fogies" and the "third generation".

People of the "older generation" tend to be more reticent. Their thinking is that "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". As such, there is a lot of attempt at keeping the peace for the sake of harmony. This type of mindset sometimes results in the person keeping things to himself. As such, misunderstandings occasionally occur because assumptions are made and there are no clarifications sought.

People of the "third generation" tend to be more open with their feelings. As such, it is not uncommon to hear phrases such as "love ya", "you're the best" and "awesome" peppered in conversations. When something bugs them, they speak out and clear the air. As such, this avoids misunderstanding. However, as we are Asians, sometimes being forthright has its drawbacks. Depending on who you are speaking to, the other party may not take too kindly to what we are saying. We may be perceived as interfering, disrespectful and picking on them.

How then, do we draw the balance?

My mother's eldest sister's latest mantra is "talk less and eat less". There is a third "less" to her mantra but I cannot recall what it is. My mother's youngest sister, AN, has teased Tuayi that the 3rd aspect is "wear less" (because Tuayi happened to be wearing a sexy top the other day). (By the way, Tuayi, you are getting more and more youthful as the days go by! Think young and you will remain young.)

For me, I would add "worry less". Sometimes, things are not as bad as they seem. Have faith in the One above.

Tuayi's mantra has roots in a buddhist or taoist teaching. I believe that the underlying concept is that we should learn to let live and let go.

If we say one less word in a conversation that is getting a bit heated, we can diffuse the difficult situation and perhaps avoid coming to blows to the other party.

If we worry less, we can live our lives with freedom. Do you know that many a time, that headache that you were suffering from had roots in something that had been worrying you for days prior to that?

If we speculate less about the intentions of the other party, we would save ourselves a lot of unnecessary stress. We need to remember that even if the other party has an axe to grind with us, at the end of the day, we cannot change the other party. If we let go and do not worry ourselves over this, perhaps nothing will come out of the actions of the other party.

I agree with my cousin HL that it is often easier said than done. However, we try. It is not for us to change other people. We let go and in time to come, we may even find ourselves changing for the better.

So, to my wonderful family and relatives, YOU'RE THE BEST! YOU'RE AWESOME! LOVE YA LOTS!